Met up with my agent friend again this morning. I’ve known him since uni days, but it’s only till recently that I’ve been chatting with him more. We touched on the topic of pride today, with an agreement that pride does sometimes get in the way of progress. It started off when I mentioned that it sometimes takes courage to do stupid stuff in order to influence the crowd. He related it to pride and re-accounted his experience as a young agent. There was a time when he strove really hard to become the perfect insurance agent, just as I am striving now to be the best coach I can be. He had a lot of pride and always wanted to do things the ‘proper’ way. But when one strives too hard to achieve a goal, he sometimes loses his personality and becomes a robot. One can have all the knowledge and skills in the world but he’ll never live to his full potential if he lives the life of a robot. The human touch is necessary, and that can only be brought forth if you just be yourself. It’s interesting really, that by striving to be the best in your field can actually limiting to your success. The best success can only be achieved when you give up your pride and simply be yourself in front of everybody. And now, he’s a lot happier and relaxed ‘being himself’ instead of being ‘the perfect agent’. The rapport and support he garners from his friends and clients increased greatly after he shed his pride of being the perfect agent. Likewise, I find that I can coach better by just being myself instead of following my impression of the ‘ideal coach’. It’s like forcing yourself to fit someone else’s shoes. You can walk in it but it won’t be comfortable.

While on the subject of pride, there are two kinds. The basic pride is the one that protects our basic dignity as men, the kind that prevents us from stooping low to get our ways. The other is the one that prevents us from achieving noble goals, the stubborn and vain pride. It’s the one that stops you from asking questions and listening to opinions; the one that prevents you from taking the initiative; the one that begs you to conform to other people expectations instead of pursuing your dreams. Of course, the line separating the two is a blurry one and is subject to an individual’s perception. The main reason is due to our interpretation of our definition of dignity and morality. Which ever way you interpret it, a good way to succeed in your dreams is to get rid of the vain and stubborn pride while holding on steadfast to the basic pride. 

When Jesus was sent down to earth, he was born in a manger filled with animals. He was born into a poor family and did not discriminate against poor nor sinful people. His status of God’s son was never reflected by the circumstances he associated himself with – being cruxified and humiliated by the people he was saving. He had to shed his pride in order to bring himself down to our level to help us.

But also, he took pride in being the one who was to be sacrificed for men. He took pride in his relationship with God. He took pride in his disciples despite them leaving him, and entrusted them to spread the gospel in his absence.

By shedding our stubborn and vain pride we’ll be able to accomplish so much more and build much better relationships with people. And we’ll be happier working towards our goals.

We’re both still working on getting rid of the vain and stubborn pride. And as long as we’re consistent, I’m sure both of us will do great in our lives!