Just been to a wake today ... a friend's father had just passed on ... can see she's been quite depressed over it ... its rather sad when you see a close one fade away slowly due to old age or diease ... sigh ... you'll know the inevitable will arrive ... but yet is helpless to do anything ... on one hand you'll wish the person would stay on longer since you cant bear to lose someone so close ... on the other you'll wish his suffering would end as soon as possible ... But when the time comes, a piece of you will still be taken away ...
Till now im rather lucky that i've only lost my maternal grandparents .. yup ... still rem when my grandma passed away when i was pri 5 due to a slip and fall accident in the bathroom ... i cried the night thru ... the next time i saw her she was lying serenely in a coffin ... quite sad since it was my first experience with the death of someone close ... furthurmore she really took such good care of us since i was little ... took me afew days to get over it ... after that my grandpa slowly wasted away .. he suffered from a stroke thereafter and became bedridden in the hospital ... about a year after the death of his spouse, my grandpa too moved on ... this time though, i didnt shed a tear ... i've been harden by the death of my grandma a year ago and was already mentally prepared for the worst due to my grandpa's condition ... the doctors couldn't help him ... i still rem when they advised us to visit him before he moves on in the hospital ... he was so so skinny ... his breathing was laboured .. attached to a respirator, his each breath seemed like a huge task ... we took turns to hold his hand and hug him, say our words of encouragement ... tink he also knew that he time was up ... he tried to prop his head up to look at everyone of us at a time ... but he couldnt speak at all ... that was the last i saw of my grandpa ...
Once in sec sch i thought about how i would like everyone i love to be wif me till my death ... even my parents ... i even hoped that i would pass on before them so that i wouldnt need to bear the pain of losing them ... tinking back, i was really stupid at that time ... really stupid, naive and selfish ... death is the surest event in your life ... and everyone has turbulent periods in their lives ... for a son to die before his father .. its feels .... ... unnatural ... besides, they'll hurt much more than i ...
oh well ... wats done is done ... everyone knows the person you talked to a minute ago will be gone someday ... its inevitable ... again its a matter of perception ... choose to be more optimistic no matter ... and know that even if a close one has passed on, there will be others who can help fill the void ..