Its been a long long week ... besides the daily grind of sch i've also been preparing for the comp on sat 19th ... didnt do very well i must say ... haha .. but im not sad ... just really really buay song with the results ... nth wrong with the judges, tink they were fair in the judgement of my performance, and i did badly thru faults of my own ...
went to the stadium in the early morn wif bingling but was closed ... so bl trained alittle outside then we went for lunch .. when we returned, we managed 'to get a feel' of the carpet .. anyway, we shall fast forward to the moment b4 my turn to compete ... basically everything went smoothly, warm ups , gg thru the routine , good luck wishes n cautions ... nth unusual ...
Jeffery was 3rd to perform while i was 5th to start ... we were 2 competitors .. but we shared a single sword as the blade of my sword broke sometime ago ... my own sword was mended but is now super heavy n hard to use .. then later, during Jeffery's performance one of the jian shui flew out ! its a piece of decor at the end of the sword but without it, pts would be deducted from his score ... we had no probs wif it during the whole time we were training n it had to break during our comp ! wat luck ! phooey ... n to tink juncheng was telling me to give the shui a tug b4 the comp to cfm it wont break ... didnt really checked it cos its been thru so many training sessions wif us alrdy so i was confident it wouldnt break ... fatal error on my part ... and so jeff got distracted cos of tt n didnt perform up to standard .. i got distracted too since i was supposed to use the very same sword later ! wargh ... immediately took it from jeff after he finished n ask jc to help me mend ... obviously it couldnt be mended in time .. i kept looking at him, hoping for the impossible .. luckily i got my other sword to use ...the super heavy n hard to use sword ... oh yeah .. just great ...
n so i went onto the 'stage' both distracted n unfocused n wif a unfamiliar sword in my hand ... the bottom line was ... i was terrible .. i noe i can do so much better but i didnt ... didnt even get top 7 out of 15 ! i noe i could have done it ... i even looked at the performance of the guy after me n could see that my usual standard was above his ... n he beat me !!! frk ... even my xuan zi cannot jump properly ... touched the floor in the end ...wth ... regardless, this is partly due to inadequate training ... the number of serious training sessions i had can prob be counted wif both my hands ... so i prob didnt have much skill to begin wif .. no arguements there ! i wasnt mentally prepared ... i was not nervous .. just super distracted n not confident tt i could carry it off wif the sword ... wat the heck ... oh well .. its all over .. n i'll be better prepared next time ...
Now tt the comps over, a weight upon my shoulder has been taken off ... its time to focus on school .. i've been falling behind the tutorials n gotta catch up ... also gotta find out wat the hell the lecturers have been talking about ... once familiar subjects are now just murky tips of an even larger iceberg ... i don wanna come to uni n juz get normal grades ... i wanna excel ...
tt said, i wanna have a life as well ... most prob be joining wushu n salsa in sch but nth really has been confirmed yet ... i wanna have fun in uni ! don wanna juz float ard but to do sth i really like ... hall activites are starting to get alittle to much ... haven been attending much anyway but tink i shld show my face every now n then .. danming said today tt its difficult to have the best of both worlds ... but im a stubborn person sometimes n wont listen to advice .. i've seen ple do it ... why cant i ? but in reality i noe i am only barely able to catch up academically ... n i've only got 24 hrs in a day! can i do it ? will i be able to divide my well among study, activites, friends n rest ? im trying hard ... but somehow, somewhere, something or someone will get shortchanged ...
oh well .. enough rambling ... i've gotta sleep now .. tml still got 5 lectures !!! n meeting laiyee for dinner ... n if got time still gotta rush tutorials ( doubt so ... ) ...